I'm sick and tired of pretending that everything is perfectly fine.
I'm sick and tired of not being able to share how I really feel.
I'm sick and tired of crying myself to sleep every night.
I'm sick and tired of "faux pooping" so I can cry in the bathroom during the day.
I just can't do it anymore!!!
Everyone knows me as the cheerful, positive, upbeat mommy...but guess what?! I'm still human. I still hurt and have feelings just like everyone else.
I've been having a really hard time since my daughter was attacked by our neighbor's dog on January 26, 2016. I've been trying to be positive through it all...but to be honest...it's just not easy!!! Looking at my daughter TRYING to smile...it's just not easy!!! Seeing the damage that the dog did to her face...it's just not easy!!! Knowing that the dog could come back...it's just not easy!!! Having this awkwardness between the ONE neighbor we have back here...it's just not easy!!!
Keilani transfered from private school over to the public school here on January 4, 2016. So...after being the new girl for 2 1/2 weeks...it was hard going back to school with a scar on her left cheek and not being able to smile. My heart has been breaking just seeing her struggle to make friends...seeing her confidence go down and just wanting to stay home all the time. This attack has definitely changed her as a person. Now...is this permanent?! I'm praying not! I want her to enjoy life just as much as she did before!!! But who knows what the future hold for us?!
This whole thing has turned out entire world upside down. I think I'm having a harder time with this than Keilani...but it's definitely been difficult on the entire family!!! I've been staying positive on social media, but I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. I posted how I was feeling on Facebook and got some ballsy messages from people telling me that I shouldn't have posted in that way!!!
So, here's where this blog comes in.
I am going to blog about my journey as Keilani's mom. This blog is not for the weak hearted. I will be going into depth about the attack and will also have pictures. So PLEASE do not follow my blog if you are offended easily. Trust me...we are going to have our ups and downs. We have years of recovery ahead of us. But I will also be backtracking to talk about things that have already happened. I just need to get them down since this is part of my therapy. So...you have been warned. And any negative opinions about what I'm writing about...please keep them to yourselves. I'm just a mom who's expressing her feelings on her daughter's adventures through her own eyes.
#prayersforkeilani #keilanisadventures
